Sunday, January 1, 2017

2016 Mouthi Awards Ceremony


The ceremony for the 2016 Mouthi Awards took place in an undisclosed hospital in Malibu, CA on December 31st at 8:00 PM, Eastern Standard Time.

It was hosted by Bruce Caitlyn Jenner.

Here are the highlights:

"Please welcome to the stage, Bruce Jenner!"


"Thank you so much for having me here tonight.  I've been a longtime lover of music.  Many of you probably remember this face from a certain movie, 'Can't Stop the Music'.  My love of many things was born that day, but we're here to talk about music, and music we shall talk about."

"Please welcome to the stage, Andra Day and Ellie Goulding!"


"I have a feeling like we've been asked to present together as some sort of consolation for losing this award, don't you Andra?"
"Girl, you weren't even nominated."
"I just want to congratulate the four losers here tonight, because being new and shiny has nothing to do with career longevity.  The Civil Wars aren't even a group anymore!  What the hell!  I definitely deserved a nomination over them."
"Here are the nominees for Best New Artist."


"...and the winner is..."

Nothing But Thieves
"This is more than we could have hoped for.  I'm speechless, actually.  To think that a little band like us could feel this kind of love and acceptance, we're beside ourselves.  Thank you so much for the support and we plan to be together for a long while, so while we won't be new forever, we still plan on being the best."

"Please welcome to the stage, Bjork!"


"Hi."


"...and the winner is..."

Joe Brown

"What a year this has been for us.  It's all been a real blur, but when the dust settles I know that I'll remember all with the fondest of feelings, and this is just the icing on the cake.  Being rewarded by a fan.  That's what it's all about."

"Please welcome to the stage, Alessia Cara!"


"Eek!  I love you all so much!  Last year I was blessed with a nomination here for my EP, Four Pink Walls, and while I didn't win, the feeling of love for my music and my introduction to the world hasn't left my heart.  I hope that same feeling follows these five nominees wherever their career takes them."


"...and the winner is..."

Kendrick Lamar

"This is too much.  All I've ever wanted to do, to be, is a positive voice in a world with so many negative voices, and the continued love I've received is overwhelming.  Thank you, thank you so much."

"Please welcome to the stage, Say Lou Lou!"


"Good evening."
"How is everyone?"
...
"I don't think they know who we are."
"Here are the nominees for Best Collaborative Vocal Performance."


"...and the winner is..."

Broods & Jarryd James
"Wow, this is such an incredible honor.  I thought for sure Tegan & Sara had this.  Sorry girls, but thank you so much Broods for being on the track with me and for making this award possible.  I'm sorry you weren't able to make it here tonight, but this is for you!"

During this commercial break, we invite you to listen to the first of the five nominees for Favorite Song of the Year:


"Please welcome back, Bruce Jenner!"


"I told you to hurry this up Kris!  Damn it, now I'm not ready for the stage.  Oh, the cameras are here."
"The cameras are always here, Bruce."
"But they're here for me this time, Kris.  Welcome back to the show.  I'm sorry about this.  I was hoping to have my grand costume change done before commercial break was over but as you can see, that didn't happen.  I hope everyone is having a great time this evening.  I'll let one of the ladies who is actually fully dressed take it from here."

"Please welcome to the stage, Jason Derulo!"


"Lending your smooth vocals to hit song someone already hit with; now that's magic.  These five nominees hit magic with a hit they didn't hit first, but that don't matter 'cuz they hit us where it counts; the ears.  And that, my friends, is poetry."


"...and the winner is..."

G-Eazy & Grace

"I'll never forget when I heard this song as a child watching 'The First Wives Club' and thinking to myself, well, I don't know what I was thinking back then, it was a long time ago, but now when I hear it and I hear my voice, I get chills.  I'm so happy you do too!  What a great year I'm having!"

"Please welcome to the stage, Rita Ora!"


"I know what you're thinking; 'Why doesn't this stah have a career yet?' and to answer your question, I blame the Kardashians.  Don't we all?"


"Exactly.  At least they aren't nominated here.  Here are the nominees for Best Remixed Track."


"...and the winner is..."

Kiiara & Jai Wolf
"This is really all for Jai, because I have no idea what he did to make this song even better than when I did it without him, but since he's not here I'll take this award and his and go back to my place.  Thanks!"

During this commercial break, we invite you to listen to the second of the five nominees for Favorite Song of the Year:


"Please welcome back, Bruce Jenner!"


"Welcome back everyone!  The night is still young and I, err, we have so much left to show you.  Let's get right into it!"

"Please welcome to the stage, Brett Eldredge!"


"Guys, hold on a second.  Am I the only one who is noticing what has happened to Bruce's face?  I know we're here to talk about the music, but I think we need to talk about..."


"On second thought, here are the nominees for Best Country Song."


"...and the winner is..."

Lissie
"I never really considered myself a Country artist, but it's always been a genre that I loved so deeply because it was all about telling stories.  To have been able to tell my story and have it heard and loved; that is all the accolade I need."


"I ain't sayin' nothin'.  The nominees for Country Album of the Year are..."


"...and the winner is..."

Ron Pope
"This is all you.  If it weren't for my f*cking amazing fans literally building my f*cking career for me, I wouldn't be here.  If I could break this f*cker into a million pieces and mail you all a piece, I would.  I'm so blessed right now."

"Please welcome to the stage, Purity Ring!"


"Yeah, no.  It's time for me to take the reigns here since Bruce is currently in surg...preoccupied and we can't just let anyone on stage anymore.  You can thank curious cat, Brett Eldredge for that.  So, let's just get this sh*t over with."


"...and the winner is..."


Daft Punk & The Weeknd
"Please excuse us while The Weeknd is escorted off stage.  Weapons are strictly prohibited.  We apologize to any who were wounded, physically or emotionally, by this incident."


"...and the winner is..."


AlunaGeorge

"This is so amazing!  This feeling, the only way I can think to describe it is that it feels like coming home.  I like this feeling.  I like this home."



"...and the winner is..."

Rihanna

"I'm so proud of me right now.  I told myself this year that it would be the best year I've lived, and this is just the cap on an already great year.  Kiss it!"


"...and the winner is..."


Rihanna

"And the year just gets better and better."


"...and the winner is..."


Nothing But Thieves
"Wow.  We're so moved right now.  We are here to make the music that makes you listen, so thank you for listening."


"...and the winner is..."


Nothing But Thieves
"Pinch us, please."


"...and the winner is..."


Nothing But Thieves
"What!  How does this night keep happening?  I feel like I'm living a real dream right now.  Thank you so much, Drew!  Thank you so much for this."


"...and the winner is..."


Banks

"This is my second win in this category, but that doesn't mean that this doesn't mean the world to me.  Thank you so much for your continued love and support.  You can f*ck with me anytime."


"...and the winner is..."


Bon Iver
"I'm just so honored to know that you get my music, that you understand what I'm trying to do and that you support that effort.  A thousand thank yous."


"...and the winner is..."


Tove Lo
"Don't ask me how this happened.  Until this moment I was still convinced that Tegan & Sara were winning this.  How did they not?  Am I still dreaming?"


"...and the winner is..."


Ariana Grande
"I know that I have a lot of haters out there, but f*ck them because this has happened and it is real and you'll just have to deal with it.  I'm dealing with it; well, thank you.  To Drew, who has continued to support and lavish me with praise all year, this is for you.  Kisses!"

During this commercial break, we invite you to listen to the third of the five nominees for Favorite Song of the Year:


"Please welcome back to the stage, Bruce Jenner?"


"I sent Kris home.  She always tries to get her cat claws into everything I do.  You don't own me, Kris!  You don't own me anymore!  I can do this all on my own, and that's just what I plan to do."


"...and the winner is..."


Ariana Grande
"Mariah, what's good?"


"...and the winner is..."


Conor Mason
"Oh my god, THIS NIGHT!  I didn't think it could get any better, but it just did.  Thank you Drew.  I'll sing for you any time!"

During this commercial break, we invite you to listen to the fourth of the five nominees for Favorite Song of the Year:


"Please welcome back to the stage, Caitlyn Jenner!"


"Sh*t, I'm not ready yet.  Looks like we messed something up anyways, so quickly listen to the final nominated song for Favorite Song of the Year."



"Okay, I'm ready now.  It's that time of the night where we get to the real BEST and so let's recap the nominees for Favorite Song of the Year!"


"...and the winner is..."


Rihanna
"This has been such a beautiful night.  I will add this to my room of shiny, pretty things."

"Please welcome back to the stage, Caitlyn Jenner?"


"It's finally here, the moment you've been waiting for!  Album of the Year!  Then it's lights out because I have some recove...rest I need for various reasons.  First, let's countdown with the remaining albums in Drew's Top Twelve!"

#12


#11


#10


#09


#08


#07


#06


"...and now the nominees for Album of the Year..."


"...and the winner is..."


Rihanna
"I feel beyond blessed in this moment!  Thank you so much for your showering of love, Drew.  I feel like a new dawn has arrived.  What a way to close out your magnificent show!"

22 comments:

  1. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii haven't heard any of these! :D Jokes aside I love how much work you put into these hahaha. God do I have a LOT of listening to do lol. btw I kno these are ancient Chinese history at this point but I ADORE this single from my favorite band that was from this summer ;P https://youtu.be/d_8wYwvlmBE

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  2. First things, first. I was not with you on the running Bruce/Caitlyn joke. It wasn't working for me...until you hit that last gif. When I saw that I just about fell out of my chair laughing. Well done.

    As for the awards themselves. really happy...and surprised...to see all the love of Childish Gambino. Happy because it really is a unique sounding album in 2016's landscape. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure how much I like it, yet, but I applaud the effort and courage of an artist known to be a bit different to get even further out of the comfort zone of the listening public. Also reminds me I need to watch Atlanta. I'm surprised at the love because it quite literally just came out. Way to keep your ear to the street.

    What is album #12? Don't recognize it from the cover and there is no writing on it.

    Not a fan of the Tegan and Sara album. Felt generic from the first song through the last.



    Glad to see Lewis del Mar get a couple noms, but a little sad one of those wasn't for Best EP.

    I'm kinda lukewarm on Ariana Grande which you seem really high on. Don't hate her, or anything, just an afterthought when I think of pop/r&b divas.

    Speaking of pop/r&b divas, I have an honest question on categories. Both Rihanna and Beyonce are far-reaching artists with a number of songs from these particular albums getting lots of airplay on top 40 radio. Couldn't they also be considered for the Pop awards?

    That said, great to see Rihanna rack up the awards. It's a terrific album. I would've went with Needed Me as the best song on it, but that's just me. And I did enjoy del Mar's cover of it, for whatever that's worth.

    Great post. I'm already looking forward to next year's ceremony.

    FYI, not sure if you saw it, but I did add my two cents to the Arrival conversation.

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    Replies
    1. YAY! I knew that my joke would not work for everyone, but I'm glad it paid off in the end.

      Childish Gambino is the s***, and his new album is just such a departure and still absolutely perfect. SLAYED!

      #12 is Tinashe. KILLER album!

      Lewis Del Mar was ineligible for EP because his album dropped and he was nominated in Alternative Album...and every song on his EP is on the album.

      Gotta have some rules.

      I consider Rihanna's album R&B, which would be Urban Contemporary, and Beyonce for me rides that line of R&B/Pop/Hip Hop. Pop is such a culmination of Urban music anyways, so decided who goes where is hard...

      Needed Me is my #2 on the album.

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  3. No David Bowie? That does it..... *grabs the loudest soundsystem ever and blasts new NIN EP*

    You need to stay away from top 40 radio. It is evil and mindless. From now on, I shall DELETE your entire music catalog. How you choose something over Radiohead and Bowie is mind-boggling. Now Brother Fisti, I shall make you see the error of your ways and you will then become my obsolete mule.

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    Replies
    1. I knew this was coming. I love our complete difference in musical taste so much.

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  4. I have no clue about most of this but I was laughing at the Jenner jokes..since he/she is a bit of a joke to me.

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  5. The lack of Gwen Stefani is GALLING.

    Since you turned me on to Susanne Sundfør, I'm kind of surprised her Rökysopp collaboration, Never Ever, isn't on here anywhere.

    Album of the year is Bright Light Bright Light's Choreography, and if you have listened to it and don't like it, well then I'll have to make like Sarah Paulson in Carol, because I can't help you with that. If you HAVEN'T listened to it... well then GET ON THAT SHIT. Standouts are: Careful Whisper, Running Back To You, How Does It Feel, and Home.

    Look, I LOVE Kiss It Better, but Song of the Year is either Tegan & Sara's Boyfriend, MUNA's I Know A Place, or The 1975's Somebody Else. Or, among your choices, Lover Please Stay (which you know I ADORE).

    Oh, and Into You is the best song off Dangerous Woman.

    Honestly, I was just glad to see a complete lack of Beyoncé.

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    Replies
    1. I actually really loved Gwen's album...but not enough to place.

      I had...no idea Sundfor had a song out this year!!!

      Boyfriend....LOVE...

      Lover, Please Stay...slays me every time.

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  6. Mouthi Sunday! Love it!

    But darn you Grande! T&S were so close. Lol, I kind of love that the Collab pic you used is, like, 10 years old, but you missed the perfect opportunity to use this 2016 one:

    http://pbs.twimg.com/media/C1BNnazXcAAuGYO.jpg:large

    Great to see all the love for Rihanna and Nothing But Thieves. They both slayed, deservedly.

    What happened to Carly Rae Jepsen?!

    Banks and Kendrick Lamar get another win. Yay! :)

    I’m really glad Childish Gambino, Emeli Sande and Tinashe made UC Album, since I couldn’t fit them in. That category was loaded.

    My #5 in Rock Album was between Highly Suspect and Catfish and the Bottlemen. Nice to see the former get another nom there this year.

    James Blake returns to AOTY! Nice. That Ladyhawke nom was a pleasant surprise too.

    Great job, buddy!

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    1. Grande...relistening to that album just sealed how much I love it.

      UGH, CRJ was so close. I couldn't decide if it was truly an EP or not and I liked being able to spread some wealth and bring attention to some newer artists.

      Ladyhawke's album wasn't my favorite, but that song is a banger!

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  7. I've never been very 'it' with current music but BOY do I love reading the Mouthi Awards! This is hands down the funniest post I've read for a while!

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  8. Loool I love how much work you put in to this! I have no idea what half these songs are but I love how you presented them.

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    Replies
    1. This literally takes FOREVER to get together, but it's fun :-P

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  9. I've listened to almost nothing new this year. I'm such an old fart. I did listen to the new Radiohead, Bon Iver, and Sturgill Simpson. All three great albums. Sturgill for the win.

    Great post, friend! I really admire the work you put into this. It's awesome.

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    Replies
    1. Love that we love some of the same albums. Loved Simpson's surprise Grammy nom!

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  10. Just stopping by to say Happy New Year, Drew!

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